Note: As intelligent beings, people are faced with choices almost every day of their adult lives. How to make wise choices during the critical period is of great significance to individuals and families. A nation, a country, and even the whole world is a collection of individuals, and the maximum release of each individual’s potential is the basis for the maximum development of society, therefore, the individual’s choice is actually also related to the development and progress of society. Based on these considerations, I would like to use a few paragraphs to review the choices I made and the attitudes I adopted at several important points in my life, with a view to providing some advices and lessons for younger people.

Ten years ago, I wrote the article “A Retrospect and Broken Thoughts - My College” with the main content of “I want to go to college, I just want to study, and my academic tutors”. Before I knew it, I had gone from being in my prime to being in my old age. Looking back on the choices I made and the attitudes I adopted during several critical periods in my life, it may be of some referential significance to younger people, and it will also leave a little memory for my daughter and granddaughter.

Taking the college entrance exam

I started my elementary school education in September 1963 and completed my junior high school education until July 1971 at Tongling Temple Elementary School in Lintong County, Shaanxi Province (now Lintong District, Xi’an City), a “hatted school” (Schools with the addition of higher education classes while the original structure remain unchanged) of “elementary school + junior high school”, and I completed my senior high school education at Ma’e Middle School, which is less than 3 kilometers from my home. As far as I can remember, I never left Lintong County before completing my high school education. Luckily, my grandfather was an old traditional Chinese medicine doctor with a good reputation in the area, and my adopted sister (who later returned to her parents because of my family’s political composition) was a junior high school student, and they taught me to study hard ever since I was a little bit old enough to know better. Although my father and mother were toiling farmers, they did everything they could to make sure that they could support my adopted sister and me in school, so much so that my biological sister, who was still in the third grade of elementary school, dropped out of school to be a farmer. As I grew older, I was able to understand my parents’ helplessness, and it further deepened my deep guilt for my sister, who was only two years older than me.

A photo taken when I first started college (1978.02)

The first grade of elementary school was a wonderful and memorable time. But the good times didn’t last long, and from the second grade onwards, I began to encounter the Four Clean-ups (clearing accounts, clearing warehouses, clearing properties, and clearing work credits) Movement, and from the third grade onwards, I encountered the Cultural Revolution. A few years later, although the situation had improved, but the impact of the movement on normal school teaching activities was far from over, so that before entering high school, I did not have a chemistry class, and the junior high school physics class was only taught by a villager-funded teacher who probably only knew a little welding skills and had only junior high school level education. Frankly speaking, he couldn’t teach clearly, and we couldn’t understand even more, and a year’s worth of physics classes could only pass the time around welding shows.

My high school education was completed at the already-mentioned Ma’e Middle School. Although this school was only a junior high school upgraded to a senior high school, it was considerably better than that of my junior high school education. For one thing, the quality of the teaching staff was significantly better, and for another, the professional conduct of the teachers was completely different. To this day, I still remember very clearly that after entering high school, the school began to teach high school curriculum, which nowadays seems too simple to be taught, but the teachers realized that the knowledge base of these so-called junior high school graduates was so poor that it was impossible to organize normal teaching. To solve this problem, teachers of different courses took different measures. The vice principal, Mr. Wang Xianglin, who was in charge of our chemistry course, decided to devote a few weeks to intensive remedial work in junior high school chemistry. After that, a slightly more formal high school education took off slowly. However, the poisonous effects of the various movements on education had already penetrated so deep, and the teachers who were in charge of education had fears in rigorous teaching, and the “reading is useless”, “the more knowledge you have, the more reactionary you are”, “professionally proficient but not socialist-minded” and “White Professional Road” thinking was still prevalent, “rebellion is not guilty, rebellion is justified” has a big market, so except for a few bolder teachers, most teachers simply did not dare to let go of their hands and feet to set rules for students or conduct rigorous teaching.

After the “913 Incident” in 1971, under the personal promotion of Premier Zhou Enlai, education began to return to the right track, and schools and teachers were able to focus on education and teaching confidently. Correspondingly, the “Uselessness of Study Theory” that had been popular for many years gradually lost its market, and the hope for the restoration of the college entrance examination system began to appear. It became the dream of many young people at that time to study hard and change their destiny through examinations. As a member of that era, I was no exception, and I spent almost all the time on studying. In 1973, Lintong education department organized students from the county’s seven high schools to participate in high school general mathematics and physics examinations, which was basically competitions, and I was one of the county’s five full score examinees in mathematics, and my physics ranked third in the county with 93 points. These achievements further stimulated my learning motivation, enhanced my self-confidence, and also laid the foundation for my dream of college. However, after April 1973, the incident of Zhang Tiesheng’s handing in blank exam papers and the incident of elementary school student Huang Shuai’s countercurrent came one after another, and the hard-won return to normalcy of education once again suffered a huge impact. As a child in the countryside, the hope of changing one’s fate through study was almost completely annihilated. There was no other choice but to return to the countryside to work as a farmer after graduating from high school.

Compared to my peers, fate was fair to me. A year later, I was fortunate enough to become a villager-funded teacher in a rural school, returning to the school of my dreams. One day in July 1977, I suddenly received a letter from a childhood friend of mine who had already been working in the city.  He told me that he had learned on a business trip that the college entrance examination system that had existed before the Cultural Revolution would be reintroduced, and advised me to start preparing for it in advance. I was so excited by this news that I could not calm down for a long time. Soon after, the news was made public. People of all walks of life caught wind of the news, and young people of the right age were actively preparing for the exam. At that time, I was in a very special situation: my mother died of illness, my sister got married, and my father was sick and needed care. In addition, I was doing a smooth job in the school, which was highly praised by the teachers and students, and I was expected to be transferred to be a public teacher in a few years. Therefore, relatives, friends, colleagues more than persuade me to “resign yourself to fate, cherish the moment, and don’t take the college entrance examination”. At this critical point in my life, I had to make a choice. Until today, I still remember clearly that the choice I made at that time was to follow my feelings. That is to say, no matter what, I would first earnestly prepare for the examination, because even if I participate, I might not be able to get admitted, and if I was fortunate enough to get admitted, I could choose not not go. If I really did not participate in the coveted college entrance examination, I would be forever regretful. Based on this consideration, in the following months, I almost devoted all my efforts, squeezed out almost all possible time, and finally went to the examination room to participate in the first resumed college entrance examination after the reinstatement of the college entrance examination system, on the conditions of taking care of my sick father and continuing the school work. A few months later, the good news came that I had been admitted to Shaanxi Normal University, which was not far from my home, as my first choice. It is conceivable that if I was not admitted, it might have been simpler, and at most I would have had some regrets and continued to teach and take care of my family as I had done in the past. Once admitted, it was really like before the examination that I had to persuade myself to give up the qualification and not go to college, but that was never acceptable. I had no choice but to follow my feelings once again, thinking that even if there were tons of difficulty, I would still have to go to college. Once decision is made, it cannot be changed. Thanks to my father’s understanding of his son’s inability to fulfill his filial piety every day in front of his bed, thanks to my then girlfriend, now my wife’s full support, and thanks to the help of my friends and relatives over the years, which enabled me to fulfill my dream of going to university, and laid the foundation for me to be able to engage in the job of my own choice later on.

Studying abroad

At this age, I can feel more and more the greatness of the older generation of communists. Their opinions might differ slightly, but their original intention of serving the country and the people never changed. Deng Xiaoping, who had three ups and three downs, after resuming his work, did not care about his personal gains and losses, but first considered the development of this nation and the future of this country. He directly pushed forward the restoration of the college entrance examination system, the dispatch of a large number of students to study abroad, and the establishment of China’s own degree system. In hindsight, these initiatives have fundamentally solved the problem of a constant supply of talents needed for the past few decades, and even for the future construction of the country.

Before studying abroad, I went to the Northwest Institute of Light Industry (now Shaanxi University of Science and Technology) with my supervisor Prof. Sun Zuomin to visit Prof. Tian Jiale (in white shirt) (1993.05）

I am a direct beneficiary of these three educational reform measures. It is hard to imagine what my life would have been like without these reforms. To this day, many people do not understand why I have been working diligently and hard for decades. That’s because I know that, compared to those who have already been delayed due to those movements, due to their family background, and compared to my peers, I am lucky that I have seized the opportunity of that less than 5% admission rate, and there is no reason for me not to work hard. Otherwise, I would be ashamed of the high expectations of the reformers and the support by my family and friends.

Because I still had to take care of my father and alleviate my family’s financial difficulties, I chose to stay in school and teach instead of going directly to graduate school, which I wanted to do. After the family’s difficulties were alleviated, I originally prepared for the graduate school of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, but changed my mind and stayed in the university to study for a master’s degree because my university’s specialty offered an on-the-job postgraduate opportunity that allowed me to keep my salary while studying. After obtaining my master’s degree, I continued to do my best in work, and my teaching was well received by students, and my scientific research yielded many results. One of the earliest achievements of Shaanxi Normal University, which was also the one with the largest transfer fee, came from the group with myself as the backbone researcher. I was also honored to be qualified as an associate professor, and at the age of 36, I was awarded the State Council Special Allowance, making me one of the youngest teachers in the history of the university to receive such an honor.

As if in a flash, I was already 36. I suddenly felt that I could not go on like this, and I must make a new choice, either continue to work in the university, so there was not much pressure, everything seemed to work logically; or I could find another institution in China and study for a doctorate degree, and then continue to work; or I could simply go study abroad, to accept the challenge, get a first hand feel of the teaching and research in the Western developed countries. After careful consideration, I decided that I should follow my feelings again. Since China allows me to study abroad, why don’t I seize this opportunity to broaden my horizons, increase my knowledge, train and improve myself?

After the decision is made, there are still many difficulties to be faced when you really want to put it into practice. I could learn the language by myself, but I could not afford the airfare, tuition and living expenses for studying abroad, so I had to seek financial support. After reviewing the literature and making extensive contacts, I finally got an invitation letter from Prof. John F. Kennedy of the University of Birmingham, UK, a world-class enzyme engineering scholar, who promised me to work in his laboratory as a visiting scholar. And in addition to exempting the Bench Fee, he also gave me a living allowance of more than 300 pounds per month. I arrived at the Department of Chemistry of the University of Birmingham one month before my 37th birthday, and joined the truly international “Laboratory of Carbohydrate and Protein Engineering”, which consisted of scholars or students from Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Malaysia, China and the UK, and started to conduct research. I started my research career in the Laboratory of Carbohydrate and Protein Engineering. During this period, I also found another opportunity to obtain the British Government Overseas Research Scholarship (ORS Award) to study at the Polymer Center of the University of Lancaster, UK, under the supervision of Prof. Ian Soutar, an internationally renowned photophysicist, for my PhD degree, focusing on the research of polymer photophysics. After three years of systematic study, I successfully defended my doctoral dissertation in March 1998, which was jointly chaired by Prof. David Philips of Imperial College, who were later the chair of the Royal Society of Chemistry, and Prof. John R. Ebdon, director of the Centre for Macromolecules of Lancaster University. After that, I continued to work in Prof. Ian Soutar’s laboratory under the sponsorship of the British-Chinese Friendship Society.

Returning to China

As I finished my studies, I had to decide whether to stay in the West and seek development or return to my home country to serve. To be honest, in the last century, China’s level of economic development and people’s income were not comparable to today’s. When I went abroad, although I was already an associate professor, my monthly salary was only about 200 CNY yuan. When my daughter arrived in the UK, the monthly child welfare amounted to more than 40 pounds, equivalent to at least 500 yuan, and she did not need to pay any fees to go to school. During my doctorate program in Lancaster University, the supervisor took into account of my family burden, and in addition to giving me the regular doctoral living allowance, he got another allowance for me from Allied Colloids Company, so the total allowance per month was more than 700 pounds, equivalent to almost 10,000 yuan, an amount unimaginable in China. In addition, my wife did not need to pay tuition in the adult university, and she could make another few hundred pounds every month from part-time job. It can be said that there was no financial pressure. As for myself, if I was willing to stay, or immigrate, I could easily find a job, and the income would be even more, the temptation being really great.

Working on time-resolved fluorescence testing at the Polymer Center, Lancaster University （1995.10）

However, I have always believed that one should not only think about the financial gains in one’s life, but also consider how one can live a meaningful and dignified life. In particular, visitors from the Third World like us were not welcomed by Westerners at heart, and I felt this very much. Even though we can work peacefully with our colleagues in developed countries and even help each other when needed, we are always foreigners. My landlord, Mr. Tang and his family, who had been living in the UK for decades, felt this even more deeply. When I finished my studies and decided to go back to China, the Tang family was so happy that they had to go to Manchester, more than 80 kilometers away, to host a farewell banquet for me, instead in their own restaurant. Their view has always been that only when China is strong and civilized can overseas Chinese people raise their eyebrows. Over the years, Mr. Deng’s family has preferred to rent their properties to scholars and students from Hong Kong, mainland China or Taiwan at low prices, in order to do the landlord’s duty to their compatriots. Whenever the landlord saw that visiting Chinese scholars and Chinese students were not working or studying properly, he expressed his dissatisfaction and criticized them. The behavior of the landlord’s family is a vivid reflection of the song “My Chinese Heart”, which also educated me deeply. It is indeed the genes and the culture that determine that we must do something for the prosperity and strength of our own country, and it is only through the successive endeavors of our generations of Chinese that the destiny of this nation can be completely changed, and that the days of our children and grandchildren can become better. Complaining will not solve any problem, and avoiding will only be despised. Of course, I don’t mean to say that only returning to China is considered patriotic, as we can still do something for the progress of the nation when we are abroad.

Photo with advisors and defense committee after doctoral dissertation defense, from right to left: Prof. Ian Soutar, Prof. John R. Ebdon, myself, Prof. David Philips, Dr. Linda Swansea (assistant to Ian Soutar) (1998.03)

Indeed, one can only be respected by others, including the people of developed Western countries, if one is loyal to one’s own country. When I decided to apply for a position at a research institute of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing, my mentor was so overjoyed that he cooperated with his secretary to print out an enthusiastic and emotional letter of recommendation for me in less than ten minutes. In his opinion, I, unlike many others, had not disliked my country, but had resolutely decided to return to serve it. For this reason, he arranged for me to accompany him to Australia to attend the 37th World Polymer Congress, and then arranged for me to return to China by way of returning to the UK via Beijing. The only purpose was to save my traveling expenses back to China. He knew that my income would be reduced after I returned to China. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think of all these! Therefore, I often tell the younger generation that it is the overseas Chinese, the foreigners, who have educated me. Facts have shown time and again that in order to live with dignity in foreign countries, one must have self-respect, one must love one’s own country, and one must not shirk one’s responsibilities. At the same time, one must be honest, have integrity and compassion, which are excellent qualities recognized by all human beings.

Some Insights

Unconsciously, It has been almost 68 years since I came to this world. I really realized that life is like a bow and arrow, once shot, can only go forward, and can not turn back. Along the way, although I have made small achievements, but there were too many detours, some of which were forced by the situation, some of which were because I was not smart enough or not hardworking enough, so that I only went abroad to study after turning 36. Now that I think about it, at least the following points can be shared with young people: First, there should be a sense of opportunity. Everyone’s life will have some opportunities, which can be the gift of God, or their own creation. Once the opportunity is seized, personal development and the value of life will be very different; Second, know how to leverage the strengths of others. That is, to work at a good platform, in an excellent team, so that there will be less blind fumbling, less detours, and you can grow faster; Third, continue to struggle. Even if the platform is good, the opportunities are plenty, all in vain if personal efforts and ability do not keep up; Fourth, life can not be smooth sailing. Everyone’s life is not the same, but there will be bumps in the road. Some people come earlier, some people come later. how to face, The mentality is the most important thing when you face these, and we must believe that God is fair and heaven rewards hard work.

I often say that education is a great responsibility, that individuals are only a drop in the ocean, and that the development of individuals cannot be separated from the progress of society. I am a beneficiary of education, and I am even a beneficiary of the reform and opening-up policy. If it were not for the reform and opening up, I can hardly imagine what our country would be like. How would I have spent my life if the college entrance examination system had not been restored? Therefore, after I graduated and worked in university as a teacher, especially after I became a graduate supervisor, I increasingly felt the great responsibility of my own. With this realization, it became a matter of course to work conscientiously, to guide the development of students, to advise the growth of young teachers, and to let them take the least possible detour.

Of course, I also realize that for personal growth, it is mainly the internal cause, while other external environment factors are external causes, including the family, mentor,  and platform. If you have a bad mindset and don’t work hard enough, the external environment is useless. In addition, it is important to recognize that a person’s life can not be free of some regret, or a little bit of trouble. It is important to believe that, “Every coin has two sides”, “There are more solutions than difficulties”, and “Good things can become bad things, bad things can become good things”! To make a difference and achieve something, we must remain enterprising, we must learn not to be discouraged in adversity, not to go mad in good times, and to be able to achieve peace of mind at all times.

I would also say that as a teacher, as a mentor, it is vital to be compassionate and to have love. Only when you have the trust of your students can you make your education work and make your words talk. I have always believed that people who are not soft-hearted are not suited to be teachers, nor do they work well as teachers, even more so in today’s world where individuality is more prominent than ever.

I would like to conclude with these verbose but heartfelt words.

May 2, 2024 at Chang’an Campus, Shaanxi Normal University